I certainly did not think that it would take me THIS long to get over one stupid person, who wasn’t worth so much time getting over, but I’m happy to say that I feel myself free from the evil clutches of longing for someone who never truly cared for me or had honorable intentions. *MAJ sigh of relief*
I think what may have made it most difficult getting myself to this point was my own stubbornness and not wanting to avoid being in the same place as him every week. Most would see this as a weakness. I see it as a Big GFY, because I’m not going to stop my normal routine to give someone the satisfaction of knowing I’m hurting hence my lack of presence at mutually participated events. I kept my head high, maybe acted a bit bratty from time to time, but I can’t go back on that now.
Another factor against me is being a romantic idealist and my desire to playback things in my head: how things could have gone, what I could have said, how I could have handled things differently. The big thing I took out of that, is the obvy, you can’t go back in time (not yet anyway) and change things to go your way. Besides do I really feel it necessary to fight to be with someone who didn’t want to be with me? He’d be miserable, I’d be miserable. It would be a whole thing and I just, no, I don’t need to deal with that.
I feel the time I took to self-reflect and get through the crappy parts will make me that much better of a half of a couple when I meet the next fella, who WILL be worth my time. The other thing that must be done to move forward is to STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM TO EVERYONE! I went through such a phase of mentioning him on the DAILY. Eventually your friends can no longer take lending you their ear. You can’t help but to think about him, but not verbalizing the thought can help SO MUCH! Since I stopped doing that, oddly enough, there have been a couple of random men tiptoeing out of the woodwork that are expressing interest in me. I’m not sure I’m quite ready to dive into anything seriou, but I DO appresh the attention and getting to know someone I’d not normally give a chance to, which reminded me of my goals for the year.
So, that being said, I’m not seeing or dating anyone, but that’s okay. I’m happy to oblige any potential opportunities should the arise, but I’m not desperate and that is KEY. We worry too much about finding our “soul mates” sometimes that we forget the important things like making sure we can make ourselves happy without someone being there to provide the entertainment.
So what have I been doing that has kept my mind off of things and free to focus on other endeavors? Glad you should ask! Ugh! A whirlwind of lovely swamped tornado. Here’s a wee list:
- Training to rock a 10 miler (I ran it two weeks ago and shaved my Personal best by 20:23 minutes; and YES I bawled like a baby who dropped her ice cream cone in the dirt)
- Boxing 3 days a week (I seriously attribute this to the success in my race time)
- Training for a half marathon with friends, in Cleveland (SOOPS nervous about it!)
- Working on Company marketing strategy – Like. A. BAWS! (recently my job title shifted to Director of Social Media and Marketing (yay! new and exciting things and MORE work!)
- Getting jiggy with it and socializing more with my friends
- Catching back up my on reading (that thing I used to do ALL the time, when I had time for it!) I’m seriously ready to go back to the classics. I am just jonesin to go get “To Kill a Mockingbird” to re-read!
- Discovering so much glorious new music
- Watching hilarious animal videos, because, c’mon, that’s important stuff right there!
- Making silly faces and starting a tumblr account around the concept
- Getting “PERK’d” like crazy from Klout with some awesome products to review!
- Getting addicted to the History Channel series Vikings
- Being told by several people that I look like a “brown” Zooey Deschanel (I’ll take it; last year it was Carey Mulligan, whom I adore and am also honored to be told I resemble!)
- Being utterly GEEKED out of my mind for The Great Gatsby AND its soundtrack to come out. I mean, have you given this thing a listen? It’s hauntingly beautiful and will melt your stone cold heart into a warm gooey mess comprised of fireside marshmallow, left out ice cream and chewed up bubblegum.
Okay, so the list wasn’t all that wee, but I DO have a fantastic playlist that will uplift and empower ANYONE in need of some tunes to get over that damned hump and move FORWARD! It wasn’t easy, but it has happened and now I can strut my stuff with my head high and not give a cat’s fanny about Mr. Man. That’s not to say you can’t care about this person anymore. Hey! You may be able to be better friends down the road, but DON’T, in any way, shape, or form, allow this person to give you false hopes. Do NOT hold your breath or put your life on hold for someone else. You have to be about you and being happy. No more letting ANYONE get between you and happiness! “Not nobody, not no how” can possibly be allowed to control your own happiness, that it yours and yours alone. It’s your choice at the end of the day to keep this person in your life, but you make sure it’s under the realization that it’s most likely never going to be in the way you used to want it to be and you have to be okay with that.
As much as I miss the closeness I had with my friend, I know that I can only really be acquaintances with him. I cared about him so much and perhaps too much, but it was my own fault for not seeing the signs in the first place. I’m okay with taking that blame. Make sure you keep a healthy distance from this person as you continue to move forward and become happy with the life you’re giving a facelift to. I see myself rambling, but it’s SO VERY important to keep this in the forefront of your mind!
One final thing that helped me prepare to just get it all out and move on was the love of new beginnings and setting expectations for the future. Summer is around the corner and I’m just SO elated to be bronzed beach bum blogging buddies with my friend, Jenn as we both move on to bigger and better things. What are those things? We’ll figure it out as we get to them! The whole is an oyster, you just have to get a-cracking, if you want to find the pearl!
[spotify id=”spotify:user:1240297953:playlist:07tmWkiJyZAh4DIPTFtXTE” width=”300″ height=”380″ /]